The past week has been very difficult. It has been made very clear to us that we are hated simply because we are from California.

I’ve never been the victim of hate speech and bigotry before moving from California to Idaho. It’s been getting worse and worse since we moved here a year ago. This past summer the neighborhood kids started bullying my children. In the past 3 months my youngest son has been bitten and had a baseball size rock thrown at him. My oldest son has had older kids yell “California sucks!” at him besides other extremely foul language. My daughter was told “My friends at school hate everyone from California”. Our neighbors all belong to a large denomination church group. And here, living among these so-called Christians, I do not feel safe letting my kids go outside in my own backyard. If I’d known how much we would be hated here or how bad the bigotry would be I never would have moved here.

Does anyone have any advice on handling bigotry?

21 thoughts on “Bigotry

      1. California is known as mostly politically democratic/liberal. Idaho is mostly conservative/republican. Too many people moving from California to Idaho is going to “ruin” Idaho. It’s a thing. There are bumper stickers with hateful slogans.


  1. I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. How ridiculous to not like someone because they are from California! And as a mother I know, when something hurts your kids, it hurts you so much! These people are not Christians. I don’t have any answers for you. Could you move to New Town at St. Charles here in Missouri? No place is perfect, but we have found this to be a wonderful community – very accepting. I know there are lots of home schoolers here. I know you probably can’t move her. I just wish I had a better answer. You have a beautiful family. I will pray for you and your family.

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  2. Bigotry
    It made me so sad to read your blog, and hear you are dealing with such an awful problem.
    I always find it helpful to understand what is under the symptoms I treat, what motivates the behavior or actions. Bigotry is the only mental illness where the person suffering tries to intentionally, aggressively infect other people with their illness. Bigotry is a form of emotional violence and abuse. It is emotional identity theft, through random acts of violence. When you are the target of someones bigotry, like physical violence it feels like the only way to protect yourself is to be violent back and respond with bigotry. The bigot is attempting to make themselves feel special and important by putting others down. They believe they have nothing special to share so they deal with their envy by trying to reduce others to their level. Under bigotry is shame and the bigot projects his shame onto others in an attempt to appear shameless. He is trying to make the other person carry his burden, by infecting them with his shame. Nothing is more painful than seeing your children hurt needlessly by others and having no way to protect them. Our country has tried to solve bigotry with legislation, but unfortunately there is no way to legislate morality. When someone exposes us to their shame, their immorality, our instinct is to turn away from their nakedness in disgust, it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing. Adam and Eve hid from God to deal with their shame and then turned around and blamed each other for their sin. So the question is how do you deal with the shame of bigotry. The only answer is with dignity, with no response, by turning away and praying that the bigot will let God into his or her heart. We are powerless and it is in Gods hands to take care of it, and our job is to have faith that he will. Meet random acts of violence with random acts of kindness. To let it all go is to free your heart and not give it to the bigot to destroy.

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  3. I am so sorry. California will take you back 😉 Unfortunately, whenever people move, there is the chance of them being treated that way. Usually we only think of it with immigrants and refugees from another country moving into our own or another, but it does happen with moving from one state to another unfortunately.

    I don’t know how best I would handle it…except with lots of prayer. For helping your children…I might offer them books about other kids dealing with bigotry. Lawrence Yep’s Golden Mountain Chronicles are excellent examples of Chinese immigrants dealing with bigotry first within China itself and then here in the United States. Dragonwings mentions brothels and the characters walk through an opium den searching for another character but the rest of the books in the series have been clean so far. I am in the middle of Dragon Road and still have 3 others towards the end of the series I haven’t read yet.

    Books about the little black girl who was the first to integrate…or rosa parks on the bus. Just to let your kids know, this isn’t new to the world and they aren’t the only kids to ever go through this, may give them strength.

    Praying for you all!

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  4. That’s just terrible. As though the bigotry in this country wasn’t bad enough with other things…. it’s so disturbing. There’s no advice I have to offer other than teaching your children not to return the hate. I hope you can find a way to feel safe and that things will get better.

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  5. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. It’s so sad to hear of the vitriol being spouted by children because you know that’s what they are being taught at home. I don’t have any answers for you but i will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  6. Who are these close-minded and crazy people saying those hateful things?! That’s so hard and frightening. I’m sorry friend that you are dealing with such bigoted people and your kiddos are affected by it.
    What do they have against CA?!
    Makes me sad you are dealing with this. Hatred within people is irrational. Will have you in our prayers and praying that God works miracles and softens hearts. Maybe your family is there to shine a light into a dark place. I know girl, easier said than done, right?!
    Bear hugs…

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